Marriage Jokes

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  • A woman has the last word in any argument. Anything a man says after that is the begining of a new argument.
  • When a newly married couple smiles, everyone knows why. When a ten-year married couple smiles, everyone wonders why.
  • Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the “y” becomes silent.
  • I asked my wife, “Where do you want to go for our anniversary?” She said, “Somewhere I have never been!” I told her, “How about the kitchen?”
  • To be happy with a man, you must understand him a lot and love him a little. To be happy with a woman, you must love her a lot and not try to understand her at all !
  • A husband said to his wife, “No, I don’t hate your relatives. In fact, I like your mother-in-law better than I like mine.”
  • The honeymoon is over when the husband calls home to say he’ll be late for dinner and the answering machine says it is in the microwave.
  • A little boy asked his father, “Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?” And the father replied, “I don’t know, son, I’m still paying for it.”
  • Husband: Honey, why are you wearing your wedding ring on the wrong finger? Wife: Because I married the wrong man!