A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, “This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you.”

The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, “Which do you want, son?”

The boy takes the quarters and leaves.

“What did I tell you?” said the barber. “That kid never learns!” Continue Reading.

smart-logo-opt

An Indian walks into a bank in New York City and asks for the loan officer. He tells the loan officer that he is going to Italy on business for two weeks and needs to borrow $5,000.

The bank officer tells him that the bank will need some form of security for the loan, so the Indian hands over the keys to a new Ferrari.

The car is parked on the street in front of the bank. The Indian produces the title and everything checks out. The loan officer agrees to accept the car as collateral for the loan.

The bank’s president and its officers all enjoy a good laugh at the Indian for using a $250,000 Ferrari as collateral against a $5,000 loan. Continue Reading

Quiz

The following short quiz consists of 4 questions and will tell you whether you are qualified to be a professional.
Scroll down for each answer. The questions are NOT that difficult. But don’t scroll down UNTIL you have answered the question!

# 1. How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?

Continue Reading

Porsche-60th-Anniversary-911-Club-Coupe_BonjourLife-1

A fifteen year-old boy came home with a Porsche and his parents began to yell and scream,

“Where did you get that car?”

He calmly told them, “I bought it today.”

“With what money?” demanded his parents.

We know what a Porsche costs..”

“Well,” said the boy, “this one cost me fifteen dollars.”

So the parents began to yell even louder. “Who would sell a car like that for fifteen dollars?” they asked.

“It was the lady up the street,” said the boy. Don’t know her name-they just moved in. She saw me ride past on my bike and asked me if I wanted to buy a Porsche for fifteen dollars.” Continue Reading

genius

If you ever feel a little bit stupid, just dig this up and read it again; you’ll begin to think you are a genius.


(On September 17, 1994, Alabama’s Heather Whitestone was selected as Miss America 1995.)

Question: If you could live forever, would you and why?

Answer: “I would not live forever, because we should not live forever, because if we were supposed to live forever, then we would live forever, but we cannot live forever, which is why I would not live forever,” –Miss Alabama in the 1994 Miss USA contest. Continue Reading

nypd-ticket

A guy bought a new Mercedes and was out on highway 2 for a nice evening drive. the top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up.

As the needle jumped up to 140Km/h he suddenly saw red and blue flashing lights behind him. “There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes, “he thought to himself and opened her up further. the needle hit 150,160… Continue Reading