Two women friends had gone out for a Girls Night Out and had been decidedly over-enthusiastic on the cocktails.
Whilst incredibly drunk and walking home, they suddenly realized they both needed to pee and, since there was a nearby graveyard, one of them suggested they squat behind a headstone or something.
The first woman had nothing to wipe with so she took off her panties, used them and threw them away. However, her friend was wearing expensive underwear and didn’t want to ruin hers, so she salvaged a large ribbon from a wreath that was on a grave and proceeded to wipe herself with it. After finishing, the two of them made their way home.
The next day, the first woman’s husband phoned the other husband and said, “These damn girls nights out have got to stop. My wife came home last night without her panties!”
“That’s nothing,” said the other. “Mine came back with a sympathy card stuck between the cheeks of her butt that said, ‘From all of us at the Fire Station, Well never forget you!’